My Husband Led Me Through Birth

I emphasize dad’s role in childbirth a lot in my classes. Here’s why:

During every other event in married life, a husband and wife are intimately entwined in the process. Marriage means that a man and woman become “one flesh” - a unit, a whole part. Why would anything look different during childbirth?

A man isn’t just a hopefully supportive bystander in this process. In fact, I believe his role during this time is as important as his wife’s. I don’t mean that this diminishes the monumental efforts of a mother in labor. I do mean that the way a man carries his woman in labor has a life altering affect on their family, and that he ought to walk with his wife through it, not trailing along behind her.

When I was in labor with our second son, for a few minutes I completely lost my determination and didn’t think I would be able to handle pushing my baby out. (Hello, classic transition thoughts!) Everyone in the room encouraged me. “You can do it!” “Trust your body!” “You’ve got this!” they said. But their words, although true, hit a brick wall in my mind.

Then I opened my eyes and looked up at my husband. He didn’t cheer for me or give me any pep talks. Instead, he took my hands and began to pray intently. He asked the Holy Spirit to take away my fear and fill me with peace.

Immediately my body and mind became calm and a few minutes later our baby was in my arms.

My husband didn’t just support me. He led me through the hardest moments of birth, taking authority over the spiritual atmosphere of the room and paving the way for me to complete my job.

That night my husband’s role held equal value with mine, the same way it does in our marriage, in our parenting, and in our walk with the Lord. He was able to do this because he knows me better than anyone else on earth. He knew deep down that cheering for me wasn’t going to connect and that I need to feel something tangible to shift. No one else could have known me so well. He stepped into his purpose exactly the way he was created to and it changed everything.

Men, you have the opportunity to guide your wife through some of the most physically and mentally challenging moments of her life by walking with confidence in your God-given role - even in childbirth. Although her efforts may be at the forefront of the birth experience, your presence is deeply needed and effective. Learn about birth, learn about your baby, but most importantly - learn about your wife.